blog | Oct 20, 2010 | 1 Comment

Car Chats – a chance to ride the wave

Just over one month into the new school for Dude, our 12 year old, and things are going GREAT! I feel like we have our son back! In this new school, we get the ‘honor’ of driving our son to school every day.           30 Miles.      One Way.            Oh, the things we do for our children.

When contemplating the commute we started with, “Holy Crap, how are we going to make this work!”  My husband runs a business, works another technical sales position and I work for a large consulting firm with a huge book of clients. This was going to take some major adjustments.

I have since changed my tune.  One hour of dedicated time with my son. 30 minutes in the morning, 30 minutes in the afternoon. This has become sacred ground. No conference calls in the car, no multi-tasking, just me and the Dude, and some Hair Nation on XM Radio.

A major theme of the successful ADHD relationship is to “ride the wave of their passions”.  Right now, Dude is a guitarist, a rock n roll standout in training. Expert of all things Slash, Guns N Roses, Aerosmith, the list goes on and on.  As a previous head banging child of the 80’s, I am quite pleased that we share the love of a good guitar riff and a Hair Band Ballad or two.  Then my “mom-ness” starts thinking about what it would be like to be Slash’s mother. (insert sound of screeching breaks, metal crunching and glass breaking) That sounds like a train wreck to me. I had never thought of Slash having a mother, until my son started to worship him!

Instead of shredding his dreams, I ride the wave of this passion and look for connections that don’t earn me the infamous, “eyeroll”.

We ponder what it was like to grow up as one of these long hair hippy freaks. Sometimes Dude comes to the commute with some new info he learned from Google or Guitar Hero that we can chat about. I recently found myself sitting in the car, 15 minutes late for a client meeting, because Slash was being interviewed on a local radio station and I needed new info to bring  to the car chat.

Sometimes we speculate why so many “axe men” go down in flames at the top of their career, buried in the rubble of drugs and alcohol. On one particular morning, we were able to take some questionable lyrics to a favorite tune and turn it into a character building, spiritual message. I kid you not. That was one of my top ‘mom moments’.

I’ve got a few years, and a lot of guitar lessons to go before I need to really wonder about what it’s like to be Slash’s mom. For now, I’ll ride the wave of this rock n roll fever, weaving in my “mom magic’.  There are learning opportunities everywhere, let’s put down the Spelling Tests and the Flash Cards for a minute and talk about what they want to talk about.  Riding the wave of their passions is like a breath of fresh air.

Today we took a slightly different route to school. I proclaim victory that even on a foggy day, we’ve shaved about 4 minutes from our commute time. Then I get the biggest gift of all, Dude says, “I don’t want the ride to go faster, I like hanging out in the car with you.”   No words to accurately describe my feelings at that moment.  Just riding the wave, riding the wave.


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One Comment

Sniff! I needed Kleenex when I read this!

Lilibeth MacLean


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